Today for the first time in almost 4 years. The sadness that weigh my heart so much has been lifted. All because of another loving soul was willing to use their god given gift for me, and asked for nothing in return.
In this day and age, people think they don't have the time to stop long enough in their rushing world; to give a smile, or a helping hand to a stranger. They have forgotten that they were once a stranger.
I have been lost in my grief for a long time now, when I lost my best friend, my husband of 25 years. We had no warning, he died in his sleep, it was his heart. He was only 47, and I 45. We have two sons, the youngest at that time was only 14. He and his father were just starting to bond; he felt cheated when he passed. He also found trouble in with his so-called friends. Which I blamed myself for, I was so lost in my grief that I did not see it coming. The oldest was just 20, he and his father were always close. Both of our boys knew they could always count on their father to be there for them. The oldest, stayed locked up inside and hardly ever went out of the house. This should have been the time in his life, that he should of set out on his own. But he wouldn't leave me, no matter what I had to say. So, he mostly stayed closed up in his room reading his beloved books, and I blamed myself for a long time for living and not being the one who died.
I had lost all hope of ever, getting the chance to meet a medium, much less the opportunity to have a reading from one. I wanted, so much, to really know that he was around, and giving me his support when everything I had to face alone.
When by chance (some say that, chance was always meant to be) the good Lord allowed me the figt of meeting a soul whom truly cared. His name is, William Constantine. I learned of his ability to speak to those who have passed on one day as I was chatting online. I asked if I could have a reading. He did not hesitate a moment to help me, even when I told him I couldn't afford to pay for one. For this kind soul said to me, he felt that if he were to charge for a reading, the good Lord would take away his gift. He explained to me that it's all about helping others, not the money.
He went to give me a reading (I wanted to believe that it could be, but back in mind like most of us I had my doubts) I couldn't believe it when he came out and said my husbands name, and as he went on with the reading, the way he talked, and the answers he gave to my questions. I knew he was the real thing. For only my husband would have known the answers I asked.
You don't know what this reading has done for me. It has given back some of the things I lost that fated day, when he passed on. I now have hope, and more faith in my life and people really do care, even if you are a stranger.
I wrote this poem before jack died. But I put it in the funeral pamphlet along with his picture on the front for everyone to remember him by. Everyone said I was so brave, little did know that I'm a good teacher, but a lousy student. It went like this;
I Will Celebrate
The sadness, that I feel today, mourns the lost
But from this day on I will celebrate that you lived
and I had the chance to be apart of it all
that was
and what was
will always be apart of me
Thank you for the greatest gift one could receive
I will thank each day
That allowed me to be part of the past that was spent at your side
What ever reason you found yourself with me
This one will never know
I will rise each morning with the thought of you
And lay down at night with the celebration of knowing you
I can not mourn the lost anymore
I can only walk ahead with a smile that wakes my lips
Until the day we meet again.
Even though I wrote those words, I couldn't move one, I allowed the pain of the loss of my husband to overwhelm every moment of the day, and the nights were spent awake with rivers of tears.
If it wasn't for this beautifull blessed soul who heard me cry for help I would still be lost in the past that became my life.
And Again, thank you, William, you have got your golden star in Heaven.
