Second Guessing
Dear Mr. Positivity,
It has been said, “There is a reason for everything.” The answer doesn’t always appear right away but would fall into place. It is too foggy in my life to see those answers / or have a better understanding / or knowing what is the right direction to choose – for the age I am, I cannot afford (literally) to make the wrong decisions.
My immediate family moved out of state while I stayed behind due to my family/career.
Years passed and the first occurance was due to a dissolution of marriage and so it was a tough decision but to move and live with my immediate family. But my daughter stays with her biological father while I move.
Was it the right choice for me to make?
A year later my father is diagnosed with stage four lung cancer (already having other health complications). Am I right to believe my marriage was not meant to last so I would go home and appreciate the time left with my parents? Would it make sense that my daughter is left behind so she would not suffer seeing my father’s pain?
So I am continuing my life starting on a clean slate (or feeling that I would be able to start a new). A friend is attached with financial issues in which I have become involved to help… But I cannot help no more. This has brought a great deal of stress and choas in my life. What happened to that clean slate? Why did this happen during the most confusing point in my life? Will the ending of this issue be okay and will the stress come to an end? With this happening I cannot see clearly where I am suppose to go or what I am suppose to do. What is this obstacle that came into my life at this point in time when I have no clue which way I am going?
Anyone have a map I can use? Am a bit lost.
Christine
Dear Christine,
Let’s clear some of that fog, shall we?
You need to trust that everything does happen for a reason and more importantly exactly as it should. The proof for that is it happened. If it was not meant to be it wouldn’t have happened.
What you are doing now is having a severe case of second guessing. You are second guessing what you consider to be all the big decisions that you have made thus far. Trust in your choices …
Your choice in regards to your daughter and father was made to protect your daughter from seeing her grandfather go through that. It was an act of love and the Universe provided the way for which you would protect her.
Christine, with regards to your clean slate, you invited this new obstacle by becoming involved. If you feel that you have done all you can than take comfort in that. It important that as a “go to person” one doesn’t take on issues personally. Another words, if you are helping a friend understand that ultimately it is your friends “hurdle” and don’t own it. You can guide and advise and help a little but ultimately they need to find their own way. It is, after all, something they chose to go through 
Now, here is a harsh truth, the only person allowing confusion and stress into your life is … YOU.
So, to gain some clarity, write a list of the things you are second guessing and then write all the positive things that have come from it. Make the POSITIVE your new focal point …
Free yourself by your “go to person” mentality by separating what truly belongs to you and what doesn’t. We cannot live another person’s life for them — we can act as their guide, love them, support them, and inspire them but CANNOT live or choose for them.
As for the map, you already possess it! You are merely trying to read it in the dark and hopefully, I have shed some light on it.
Positively Yours,
Mr. Positivity