hey, I just wanted to thank u for helping me last night. i haven't found very many people that i could trust on here like u...u said a few things that really got to me and my sister last night and that is how we new that we could trust you and that u were telling us the truth. That are grandparents and mother and my daughter was with u. I haven't really told very many people about my daughter. Only my sister and just recently her father found out. we were very young when i got pregnant with her and we were both going through a really hard time back then. i was 18 and he was 16. you were a little off on her age but that is understandable. i still new who you were speaking of. i did a few things back then that im not really proud of and it was my fault that i lost her. i was very scared back then and i loved her father very much but i new that if we had this child that it would mess his life up alot, and i didn't want to be the cause of this. little did i no it messed my life up more then his and i think messed his life up by me not telling him i was pregnat. i never got to see her so by you telling me that it was a girl it helped me so much... just knowing that i really hadn't gone out of my mind and that i really did misscarry...everyone except my sister thought i lied about it... and they were begininng to make me believe that i had just imagined it. i also had help by knowing that the child that i had now would be ok. i relive the moment that she was born in my head every day and the docter coming in and telling me that my baby only had a 10 percent chance of living... i remember holding my daughters blanket with her blood on it in my arms and crying asking god to please forgive me for everything that i had ever done wrong... and to please let her live. i blamed myself for all of her problems and yes even dream about it daily... you also helped me by telling me that my grandparents were not disappointed in me because of the way my life turned out... i have lived with the last time that i ever spoke to my grandmother in my head daily. that conversation plays in my head repeatedly... when they told me that she had passed i hung up and called her number back and she didn't answer. i remember throwing the phone up against the wall and asking god why.... also my mothers death was very hard on me. simply because i couldn't be there for her are my sister when it happen. are last goodbye was over the phone. i remember calling my sister and her telling me mom wanted to speak with me. i remember her telling me she loved me like she new it was fixen to happen... then she went into tears and handed the phone back to my sister while saying im never going to get to see my baby girl again are my granddaughter... that was the hardest thing that i have ever had to do... thank u so much for taking the time to talk to both me and my sister... it has given me a chance to say my goodbyes like they should have been said.. and also to know that they are all ok and happy now........ thank u and god bless you for all of the help that you are doing..... for everyone.........
